Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Dramatizam pina nu mai stim sa ne lasam

Sa ne lasam de acest sport extrem, cred ca ar fi trebuit sa fie un potential subtitlu.

Ma uit la oamenii din jurul meu, citesc reviste, mai bag un ochi in televizor si citesc bloguri....cam cite pot duce intr-o viata de om. Decembrie e o luna a depresiilor si, daca mergi cu spatele ca un rac veritabil (nu ca eu ash fi unul, nici macar ca zodie), gasesti inca de pe la finalul lui octombrie oameni care au abandonat deja 2006.

E ceva ce-mi scapa aici, in puterea noastra de a relua, vorba cu vorba, pas cu pas, frintura de frintura tot ce-a fost rau in spate, imposibilitatea de a ne concentra pe ce urmeaza. Pe ziua de maine. Si pe mine ma chinuie uneori anumite faze din trecut, ma intorc la ele invariabil, frame cu frame, ca si cum as fi un Hercule Poirot plecat in cercetarea adevarului unei secunde care s-a produs, a marcat, a trecut. La un moment dat insa, activitatea asta se muta de una singura in lumea viselor mele matinale (pentru ca inca visez oameni, situatii si povesti intregi dimineata de dimineata) si ramin cu ideea de ce-o fi, o fi. E si maine o zi. Ce-o sa fac la anul? Nu stiu. Peste o saptamina? Nu stiu. Astazi? cu siguranta nimic. Maine? O sa incerc sa misc un deget.

Ma trezesc in fiecare dimineata, deschid geamul si-mi fumez prima tigara. Ma uit la oameni si-i vad cum i-am vazut si ieri. Astazi de exemplu, sunt mai plouati ca ieri. Dar umbla pe strada, se grabesc, isi cara sacosele, isi flutura umbrelele, fug dupa autobuz, asteapta cuminti la semafor o unda verde, fac cumparaturi, vorbesc la telefon, alearga prin ploaie pentru ca se apropie deja de ora 09.00. Dimineata de dimineata. Asta ar putea fi un motiv de depresie decembrista. Ca oamenii la care ma uit in fiecare dimineata, fac in fiecare dimineata aceleasi si aceleasi lucruri. Dar mai e si un motiv de bucurie: life goes on.

Poate da, fiecare zi goes on la fel, dar nu-i vad de la inaltimea celor 4 etaje ale mele scriindu-si depresiile pe bloguri, acuzind oboseala ca le-a distrus vara sau chiar viata. Citesc blogul unui prieten obosit. Obosit in cel mai crud si realist sens al cuvintului. La final de octombrie, hotarise sa lase flow-ul sa-l ia si sa-l duca undeva, sub motto-ul "inot".

Asta cu inotatul e o vorba pe care am invatat-o multi in vara asta. Cel putin eu si prietenii mei am fost coplesiti de ideea de inot, plecind de la premisa unui fals profesor de sport care avea pretentia ca daca arunci un om in apa, va invata singur sa inoate, doar ca sa se salveze. Pe la mijlocul lui august am avut revelatia cumplita ca sunt ce-i drept in viata, uda leoarca de la atita inotat, dar cu tehnica in domeniu tot nu m-as lauda ca stau prea bine.

Patru luni mai tarziu, descopar ca pe M* il apucase inotatul la final de octombrie, timp in care eu inot de-a dreptul. Adica daca m-am straduit o vara sa prind niste tehnici valabile de inot, ceva care sa-mi dea premisele sigurantei pe propriile-mi puteri si n-am reusit sa obtin nimic de genul. Acum, practic inotatul la modul "stagnare". Inot in fiecare zi asteptind sa vad ce se intimpla. Suna telefonul, primesc un mail, vad un om, fac ceva ce n-am facut ieri.....sau pur si simplu inot calm si linistit pentru a nu face nimic.

Si maine e o zi. Din anul asta, mai sunt cu totul vreo 10. Si mai vedem noi....

Monday, December 18, 2006

Every day low price/The dawn experience

Sounds to me as if it is the motto of a dream we are talking about right now.… How would it be if I had to pay less and less for a product I enjoy. This, taking into consideration that I am brand addicted. I buy according to images and to the image I will myself get after having used the product. Highly influenced by commercials, product look and placement. Yes, I love products that I can find anywhere, no matter if they are more expensive that others.

This is, for me, the difference between Coca Cola and Pepsi. I don’t know how this is called in retail, but I imagine it as a sort of “press or media coverage”…… Coca Cola has the territorial coverage that suits me, Pepsi doesn’t.

Even if, actually I don’t drink Coca Cola, but Fanta or Cappy and I really hate the Bamboocha Fanta’s advertising project and in spite of the fact that Pepsi were able to sort of destroy Santa Clause transforming him into a blue one. This was a marketing initiative that I loved, not because I am such a fan of the blue color, but because I’m always open to changing things… reversing ways of thinking, destroying myths from time to time. After all, why shouldn’t Santa be blue just for once?

When I look at women, first time I look at their hair, then to the nails and then to the boots. I didn’t come up with this idea… a grown up, middle aged local Don Juan from Timisoara taught me once to read women by their nails and boots. Then to look in their eyes and discover their smaller gesture of excitement, nervousness or maybe comfort and pleasure. He did this once with me…..I was 21 or smth like that and he scared the hell out of me when, in the end of our little chat, he even told me the color of the blouses I was having in my wardrobe. Without seeing them. He just challenged me to go home, check my wardrobe and give him a phone call if he was right. And he was right. But I never made that phone-call.

It’s funny because something like one or two months ago, staring at my still-to-be-summer-wardrobe, I wanted to give him a phone call and ask him to scare me had he known all over again the color of my blouses, even 7 years later from the first chat we have ever had. Blouses bought due to the color, the texture, the moment of the shopping. I’ve never connected clothes with brands.

Later on, living my life by night and mostly in Timisoara’s dancing clubs, I learned to look at glamorous waving hair, rhythmically moving shoulders and drinking or smoking habits. You don’t get to see their eyes when dancing in the darkness of the club, so you have to come up with some other ways of reading people around you. Of course, if you’re not there to be involved in the dancing scene too. Cause if you are, you don’t give shit on people, faces, brands, habits and looks. You just let yourself go with the music and that’s supposed to be enough.

I am right now looking at a picture with two men, holding their glasses (I might say that’s whiskey that they seem to be drinking) and they are staring at something…….I know one of those two guys, so, as far as I know anything of him, I might think that he is just watching the Dj’s work, not the girls dancing around. I remember the period when I used to prefer bottled drinks instead of “on the rocks”. Didn’t want a headache the other day. I sometimes lounge for a Smirnoff Ice.

Right now I am having a piece of conversation with one of my friends, on my Ym, and he’s just making the true observation that I very seldom drink bear in a hurry. I usually take it instead of juice or smth like that, as if, my cigarettes make me thirsty and my thirst is not a matter of interest, not even for myself.

But he doesn’t refer to Smirnoff Ice or Corona, I’m sure.

I remember when I was in Italy: Corona beer and sprinkling water almost had the very same price so I spent a whole week drinking Corona on the beach. It was …. I don’t know….every day low price?

I keep close these memories with bottled long drinks from my after hours, sun rising parties….always in Timisoara, always at No Name or at Ghioroc. The pleasure of dawn surrounded by music, sand and people. During those years, I learnt to wear sun glasses even on a rainy day, to love rain even on a summer day, to enjoy music mostly on summer than on winter time.

I think I should change the “every day low price” idea in an “every day has a low price compared to the days that are about to come”.

It has occurred to me right now that I have never appreciated summer at its most and year after year, as a bad “history repeating”, in winter time, I lounge for what I had lost of the summer’s joy, fun and dawn. It’s the dawn experience that you seldom get when you’re freezing, but it’s cooling you in the middle of august better than anything else.

How come that I don’t know any brand named “Dawn”?