Because the clubbing nights with slight impressions of seeing your face in the crowd have never stopped. I’m still dancing as you are there to enjoy. I’m still picturing you with a glass of whisky standing around the bar and watching people around you. I’m always shivering when I have to go the bar to get a drink… I’m afraid you’re gonna be there and my heart will stop that very second and my eyes will never forget the looks of you and they will hurt forever. Because I’m waking up in the morning, breathing Bucharest dirty air and feeling happy knowing you might be around here somewhere. Probably you’re not, but you just might.
In the middle of all this, taken down by music, nothing to live for and the pain for the winter soon to come, I found the “instead of you”. Some years younger, energy flowing all over his body, mind focused on music and beauty of life in your twenties. I freaked out last night. In the darkness of the bedroom he looked just like you. Or am I going crazy again?
Now what? Do I have to step again to my Kristal church to get you back into my eyes or from now on it’s going to be the instead of you’s image all over my life and my dancing nights? Will you meet me in Kristal this winter?
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8 comments:
who are you?
no, really, who are you?
my blog is dedicated to one single person who knows who i am. so if u want a name, you won't get it. if u want anything else, I'm here :)
as much as your blog is dedicated to that one - very special - person, it obviously showcases YOU... it allows somebody to get to know you - beyond the name... so, if that is not part of the intent, and if i am intruding, my aplogies...
...but, if i am not... ok, i won't look for a name... but i am still looking for you... who are you? not the name... but everything else... :-)
This very moment I am the person whose all hopes seem to have died… everything is black and snowy, morning has no news and I don’t live by the line that “no news is good news”. In a while, very short as I far as I know, I shall be the person whose will can move mountains and whose joy can make the world change a little. This all is called bipolar: one day up, two days down, three days up. The bottom line of all this is music. I essentially live to listen and to dream.
hmmm... you are also a person who can handle the english language quite skilfully...
frumos... dar unde ti s-au dus sperantele? si de ce? persoana pentru care scrii blogul nu iti mai citeste rindurile? nu mai tine legatura?
are you heartbroken? is that what it is?
in orice caz, e frumos ca stii ca in curind (oare cind?) iti vei reveni, si ca esti sigura ca soarele va aparea de dupa perdeaua de nori care deocamdata te preocupa atit de mult...
the question is: is it worth spending - presumably - half of your time on the "dark side"? because, you know, your optimism can be quite intoxicating... :-)
you must be very young to believe that "heartbroken" really exists :)
that's nice.
if your choice is not to let time overwhelm you, you'll have the chance to keep this "being heartbroken" awake and thrills will never stop make you jump.
ha... i am already much older than i would want to be...
wait... are you saying that you are rejoicing in this "somewhat dark" state? are you saying that the rare and short glimpses of light are worth prolonging the darkness?
is this a kind of masochism?
p.s. merry christmas (i will take a wild guess that you are an orthodox - at least by birth)! and a happy new year!
Now I’m fine, baby. Yesterday a mess, today happy as hell because I know I’ll see him these days. More than that, we’ve got a lousy party going on tonight :)
Happy New Year!
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